A White Man and Black Man Walk into a Bar.

INT: Dimly lit rundown bar.


White guy: Nigger!

Black guy: Cracker.

White guy: Jungle bunny!

Black guy: Hillbilly.

White guy: Jigaboo!

Black guy: Juggalo.

White guy: Ape!

Black guy: Peckerwood.

White guy: Nig nog!

Black guy: What are we even doing?

White guy: You started it!

Black guy: No, YOU started it when you sailed to Africa and enslaved my ancestors.

White guy: Not this shit again!  That’s the past! Move on for crying out loud!

Black guy: How about you move on from complaining about my crying, ‘cause I ain’t stopping!

White guy: Porch Monkey!

Black guy: Cousin lover.

White guy: You. You–

Black guy: Aha! I win!

White guy: This wasn’t even a damn competition!

Black guy: You made it into one, and I won.

White guy: No! It’s impossible to beat a white man. Especially a black!

Black guy: Well, I just did. And next, I’m going to beat your ass if you call me something ignorant again.

White guy: (whispers under his breath): nigga.

Black guy: I heard that you Trump supportin’, confederate flag wavin’, hick. Look three for one–I win again!

White guy: (stumbles out of the bar with an empty beer bottle).


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